This month’s Latitude 38 thoughtfully included a bit about what actually IS a “Poop Deck.” I wonder how many letters per month it took for them to finally dispatch the intern to the archives in hopes of shutting up the potty-humored masses.

So here it is: it’s NOT a deck that is covered in poop, as we’ve all been led to believe. Nor is it in close proximity (say, underneath) the, um, “head” (har har). I know what you are thinking (besides wtf) because I’m thinking the same thing: Latin must surely be involved, and so it is. The term is derived from the Latin puppis, which means “stern.” And that’s Latin for you—taking a perfectly reasonable word like ‘stern’ and coming up with a far freakier word that recalls insect larvae or very young dogs or poop and handing it back to us with no explanation. And before you know it, boat decks in the back are being called “Poop Deck” by sandal-wearing pseudo-intellectuals and, er … here’s a photo of TimeMachine’s Poop Deck.

A little watch shopping led me to ponder the meaning of words like “waterproof” and “water resistant” and “ferociously ugly.” Sadly, I will be adding the following to my “what’s wrong with this world” list:

(From worldofwatches.com)

* Water-resistant to 30 meters (100 feet) will withstand splashes of water or rain but should not be worn while swimming or diving. [For those times when you are doing the dishes at 100 feet.]

* Water-resistant to 50 meters (165 feet) will be suitable for showering or swimming in shallow water. [Water over 165 feet is no longer classified as shallow, but ‘insipid.’]

* Water-resistant to 100 meters (330 feet) will be suitable for swimming and snorkeling. [One sees many fish snorkeling at 330 feet.]

* Water-resistant to 150 meters (500 feet) will be suitable for snorkeling. [Again, I regularly snorkel at 500 feet; just me and the underwater volcanoes.]

* Water-resistant to 200 meters (660 feet) will be suitable for skin diving. [Well, it’s about freakin’ time.]

Yes, we have a dinghy of sorts (see lovely stock photo below). It’s an 11-foot yellow inflatable kayak. We currently can view our wood floor or murky bay scuzz through the window. Clearly we need to get gone to more scenic parts.

Reasons we got this instead of a more conventional dinghy-style dinghy:
* We are radical, cutting-edge rockstars who will not be cowed by the color yellow, or practicality.
* It is maneuverable and easy to paddle/row (we’re not just about to plop a spare—ha ha—motor on the back of anything and go speeding off).
* It seats two persons (there are two of us; coincidence?) but can be converted to a one-person in the event that one of us is eaten by a shark.
* It folds down (being inflatable) and takes about five minutes to pump up.
* It has a very simple design (INGENIOUS!!): two removable pontoons inside of a seemingly sturdy Cordura sleeve; the bottom/edge is made from very tough nylon (840 denier nylon). It has a clear viewing panel in the bottom for fisk viewing made of 40 gg pvc.
* It has many places to lash/tie/strap/hook/rope things.

* It weighs 32 pounds.
* Our boat is 32 feet long.
* It’s a kayak and can be used for exploring!
* We may have already come up with a name for it. Besides “Yellowy.”
* It was relatively inexpensive and used dinghys on Craigslist were not forthcoming unless they were owned by freaks who did not answer your emails with actual information. We tried to look into buying a zodiac-type thing but the ad did not list dimensions or weight or anything useful and the guy would not tell us no matter how many times we rephrased the questions. Another that I really wanted was the cutest little orange jobber but the guy never answered me at all. Yellow = er…um; orange = good, pumpkin-like, tomato-like, CANDY-like.

Reasons I’m a little apprehensive:
* It’s freakin’ YELLOW. Newfangled looking.
* I worry about the proverbial kid with a bad attitude and a pocketknife.
* It will be a tight squeeze when provisioning for water or groceries
* We will have to make multiple trips if we have visitors.
* The Cordura part—the hull—is vivid yellow and screams out yellowness. There are irritating product names on it too (we’ll cover that).
* We’ll have to take care to protect the clear panels on the bottom; cover them when toting stuff around, etc.

So, we’ll see how it goes. Worst-case scenario is that it is not practical and we need to get a hard dinghy as well (but we’ll still have a kayak to play with and this isn’t a bad thing). Which puts us back at the which-dinghy-to-buy dilemma. The Porta-bote is cool and folds up small and is lightweight (heavier than this kayak) and a very real alternative; however, the max capacity is 445 pounds (the kayak is 500). It also seems expensive. We could instead buy a second kayak if we had visitors, or we could upgrade to the Soar, which has a freaking 1000 pound capacity and WINS. It is pricey (explains why we don’t have a Soar taking up the entire living room floor right this moment) and I wouldn’t be able to stop worrying about it getting stolen, slashed, eaten by a shark, getting scurvy…

In other, non-dinghy news, yesterday was spent provisioning non-perishables. I got looks from the other shoppers when I tossed 18 tins of dolmas onto my cart; I told them that I had spent the last 16 months in a secret assassin training facility and hadn’t shopped in a while. When I went to bed last night, I dreamed about Lara Bars.

More preparations, part 12: we made aluminum rope hangers for the head. I poked the holes with my jeweler’s flex shaft. We also put some of these hangers in the amas. I look seriously hot in goggles and ear protection.

Here’s another photo of Joshua and I out the other day on the bay.

An amusing story about Joshua the other day: he was in Safeway picking up some ice when the guy in line behind him started freaking out asking if he was George Michael (who must be what, 50?). Joshua wasn’t entirely sure if he was joking; the guy’s friend clearly wasn’t sure and kept asking Joshua on the side if he really WAS George Michael.

Hot damn! I’m heading out now to go pick it up.