It would seem that six months marks a trying time for helpless babies and their bleary-eyed counterparts. I’m talking about everyone’s favorite topic: sleep. Sleep and Ronin are at odds lately. Sleep and Ronin have a on-again, off-again relationship and this relationship is on the rocks. Sleep and Ronin = LAME for EVERYONE.

(Me = cranky.)

There is a lot of advice out there regarding how to get your baby to sleep. Everyone is a baby-whisperer. I think the sleep advisers are more prolific than the how-to-be-pregnant people. At any rate, one bit of advice was to introduce a “lovey,” or some sort of item to be loved up/devoured by mucous alone (stuffed critter, blanket, paper bag, wire whisk, etc.). I decided a stuffed critter was the element missing from my child’s sleep psyche.

NO MORE! BEHOLD: “Ay-dah!” (Ronin named her.)

God isn’t that the cutest thing? I totally stole the idea from some crafty type and made my own version out of some of some of those fabric scraps I’ve got on hand, one of my pregnant sweaters that is now too wanged out to wear, and an old Irish flannel shirt I’ve been carrying around since high school.

Warning: video somewhat grandparenty.

Ronin had her six-month checkup and shots the other day. She was really good and showed off all her milestones for the doctor. The shots were horrible as usual and Dora the nurse again traumatized the three of us with her breezy sense of incompetence. Ronin crashed out the moment we got home, slept for an amazing hour and a half, and woke up crying. She didn’t stop until we put her to bed early. She hasn’t stopped yet. Oh, I’m kidding, sort of. She has been seriously cranky the past four days and yesterday evening/last night/this morning was horrible. I can’t figure out if it has to do with the shots still or something else. Everyone says (everyone = strangers off the street), “OH, she’s teething! Aren’t you? Yes you ARE!” because she likes to chew and slobber on stuff. Of course, I’m all, “She didn’t just agree with you, she doesn’t even speak English.” But I do check on a near-hourly basis to see if emerging dental action is the cause of her beastly temper, but no, nothing there but a bunch of squishy gums. And slobber.

(Stats: 17 pounds, 26.25 inches long, 17-inch head circ. Big girl! All around 60th-ish percentile.)

Three days ago we were thinking we maybe should get a stroller and now we have two of them. Stroller number one is a BOB we got used off Craigslist (we are officially yuppies starting NOW) and the other we found in the trash (dumpster-diving yuppies!). I like to think the free dumpster stroller sort of takes the edge off the super-fancy BOB but unless I put a bumper sticker on the BOB that says “My other stroller I got out of the trash,” I don’t suppose anyone will actually realize that I’m not just another suburban mom walking around with her bright red $300* jogging stroller but in fact, like some kind of dangerously hip crime-fighting super-anime ninja** in disguise.

Of course we didn’t set out to get the BOB stroller, not that I didn’t know they existed, but I considered them to be the ultimate in dorky jock extravagance. I mean, you can get a NEW jogging stroller for less than $100 and why buy new when you can get one even cheaper from Craigslist. Here’s where we went astray. 1) Accidentally touched a BOB stroller in a bike shop we were browsing while waiting for our Lebanese takeout. 2) Put Ronin in it and pushed her around in circles, “DANG this is nice.” 3) Started searching Craigslist for a used stroller; boggled minds at the confounding range in prices and the god-awful photos people take of the zillions of brands and models. 4) Went to Babies R Us to actually look at all the brands in person. Except Babies R Us is a horrid store so evil that despite 13 square acres of baby merchandise, you still can’t find anything you actually want. Also, can I just say now that if you EVER hear me suggesting, “Why don’t we just go to Babies R Us to look at all the models so we have something to compare when we’re browsing Craigslist,” smack me a good one. 5) We hated every single stroller in Babies R Us. 6) We started browsing BOBs used on Craigslist (it’s all downhill from here). 7) Justified ourselves thinking that if we could just get a really great deal on a used (but in essentially brand-new condition and not last-year’s model either) BOB, we could sell it again when we’re through for what we paid for it. 8) It’s red.

* That’s what they cost NEW. Not used off Craigslist haha, whew! But ours looks brand new so everyone must think I bought it new and spent $300 on a stroller for god’s sake. Can you tell I am nursing something of a complex about this? Give me a couple of weeks for my eyes to adjust to the red and my sensitive nerves to settle.

** Oh I’m kidding! I’m not really very hip.

ps – Stroller number two is a lightweight umbrella stroller which folds up into a tidy, um, umbrella-like shape.

pps – We don’t have a photo of the Contraption yet.. I’ll try to get one today.

[Ro likes to pull up grass, examine it closely, then put it in her mouth (I pull it out because grass is a Stage II food).]

Well, I meant to post this a week ago but it didn’t happen. The big news today is Ronin is sick. First cold. POOR BABY. (And these past few days I’ve been sick.) She seems confused mostly, and is coughing all over the place. There doesn’t seem to be all that much we can do except watch her and keep her comfortable, encourage her to sleep. I brought her in the bathroom when Joshua took a shower to breathe in the steam. We planned to go on a hike to a waterfall today and are still going to go; we figure she will be happiest outside in the woods anyway if she is of the cranky disposition today (and it is definitely looking like today is brought to you by CRANKY). I’m packing the infant tylenol and a nose bulb in case things get dicey on the trail.

Ronin is six months old, give or take a week; my excuse for not posting this promptly on the 13th is because we were actually in a place where there was NO internet. At all. Not even a weak wifi signal from the neighbors. (Also, I’m a slacker.) This past six months, unlike most other six-month periods of my life, has been both very long and yet incredibly short. Pregnancy was like that too. I felt like the time flew by but when I thought specifically of a certain week, it was, GOD, AGES ago. I watched some early videos of her from the first weeks and watched her wiggle like an uncoordinated amoeba. In six more months I’ll have a (um) vocal walking (or close to it) mini-Godzilla on my hands.

Regarding the solids thing, I think I have to admit to myself that Ronin hates food. And by association, all spoons. We have been trying at least once per day to try to get her used to it but as soon as she sees the spoon or suspects something is amiss, she arches her back and starts whining. Or rather, humming in a whiny way because she will not open her mouth at this point. Of course, initially I gave her the spoon to play with but she regards it with suspicion; on occasion she will chew on the handle part. She puts it in her mouth, pulls it out, then makes a sour face like there was food on it and slowly rolls her gums around. It’s pretty hilarious.

Lately, I have used a folded up piece of Mojo bar wrapper to feed her (with marginal success). Naturally, all age-inappropriate foods are of high interest to Ronin and in particular, bars of any type. So I got the idea to scrape a bit of rice up on the edge of the bar wrapper and she ate it like no problem (although she did seem surprised that something stayed in her mouth after the crinkly thing went out). She ate with the wrapper twice more and then I ran out of Mojo bars.

In other news, she went on a six-day poop strike last week. We were a bundle of frayed nerve endings by the end of it but it ended far less spectacularly than I had imagined. Now I’m less alarmed when she misses a few days.

We jumped the gun by about a week* due to a general excitement on the grownups’ part over the solids thing and decided to give it a try. Because I’m ultimately the spawn of hippies, I decided that if Ronin was to be fed, it would be homemade and organic. So I bought a bit of organic basmati (after comparing it to all the other organic options, basmati seemed a little higher in protein and fiber and lower in carbohydrates—of course whether it is best for a baby to have higher protein versus carbohydrates, I don’t know. I cut my research short in favor of not standing in the middle of the grocery aisle any longer, bouncing back and forth from bulk bin to bulk bin reading and re-reading the nutrition facts.)

Next step was to clean the coffee grinder like it had never been cleaned before. I took a photo of it actually as it was downright spectacular to look into the grinder and see my face looking back up at me.

I was a little skeptical that our ancient coffee grinder would be up to the task of making flour out of the grains so I started with the (organic! and less the consistency of small rocks) oats. Happily, our coffee grinder is awesome because it worked perfectly; the oats turned to powder in maybe ten or fifteen seconds. I cleaned it again and ground up the rice. As with the oats, the rice worked just fine, just noisier and I had to grind it longer, maybe 30 seconds or so.

To cook, I used 1 part rice powder to 4 parts water and cooked it like you might cook cream of wheat (boil water, slowly add cereal while stirring). Because the flour is so powdery, you have to be careful to add it really slowly and stir vigorously as you add it; I still got lumps so I turned the burner off and went through the stuff, smashing all lumps with my spoon before continuing. If you had a sifter that you could knock it into the pan evenly and sparingly, this might work best; maybe even knock it through a tea ball. I cooked it for around ten minutes or until it tasted totally cooked. It’s bland but a whole lot better tasting than the Gerber rice cereal, which kind of tastes like tissue paper.

Then I mixed about a teaspoon of the stuff with some breastmilk to make a runny paste and we sat a sort of grumpy Ronin down for her first meal. Naturally, we took so long to find the camera and get the lights adjusted just right for filming that she lost it while waiting for us to get our shit together and we had to pick her up and cheer her up again before trying again.

The verdict: After round one, I thought in general, it was a go. She was interested in it at first and took a few bites like she was liking it but then just sort of melted down. I don’t think the cereal really had much to do with it though—I think she was just getting tired and our timing was off. Thusly, we ended the first session prematurely and she went down for a nap shortly thereafter. Round two didn’t go so well. She took a bite then gagged. Maybe we’ll rest for a week and try again. When she’s six months old.

Video of Ronin eating. (I can’t decide if the sound of my recorded voice or my dorky commentary is worse..)

* By a week, I mean that all the books and the Internet say that you should not start solids before six months of age. Not a day before. La la la.

[That scratch on her forehead? She clawed herself during a pissy moment and while it’s long healed, there is STILL a faint scarrish groove in her forehead. Sheesh baby!]

It’s been rather a lengthy while without the typical barrage of Ronin photos and update on all the new baby stuff she has mastered.

Baby talk. She started in with “der der der” but now favors “Ay-DA!” The der-der-ders were primarily used to yell at her toys or to rant at us when she was irritated with being dressed or put to bed.

[This was taken a few weeks ago. Warning: it is of a lengthy, possibly only interesting to grandparents, nature.]

But she also der-der-ders at things when she is in good spirits; unfortunately, she always shuts up when I get the camera out. Here I snuck up on her and the peacock toy; this is somewhat post der-der-der transition talk.

[Ditto the above video: grandparenty.]

She rolls over now too. I was getting worried that we’d hit six months without Ronin rolling over and the pediatrician would start to talk developmental milestones at us and get us all stressed out. The fact is, we only seldom put her on her belly because she hates it generally and will fuss herself into a full-bore shrieking frenzy if we leave her for more than four seconds (more than once barfing on the bedspread in the process). So… we tried it once upon a time, twice, and then almost never again. We figured she could hold her head up just fine and maybe someday she’ll be more interested in lying on her tummy.

[Ronin likes to suck on the nose of the elephantmouse.]

So, five months came along and I began to worry again so I started putting her on her tummy again four seconds at a time. Meanwhile Joshua and would I do acrobatics in front of her to keep her distracted and not freaking out. We would roll her from back to front, front to back, over and over, and about a week or so later she did it herself. YAY! Whew.

Sitting! Sort of. Close enough. I’ll take it! She can go 15-30 seconds or so sitting up and balancing on her own before capsizing. It helps to have something interesting to look at in front of her (a melamine measuring cup is about the hottest shit around these parts lately) and then she’ll play with the toy while bobbling a little back and forth but ultimately staying upright on her own. As soon as she gets distracted and looks up however, the momentum of her head sends her flying backward.

She also supports her weight in a standing position; for example, we can stand her facing the back of the couch and she’ll hold on and play with her toys. She gets grumpy if you try to hold her sitting in your lap. Sitting in laps is for little babies. She much prefers to be ballanced in a standing position and she’ll hang out for quite some time or until you get tired.

Still no teeth but the slobber is serious. She likes to blow raspberries now and a mouthful of thick drool makes all the difference.

She is not quite six months yet but we gave her a couple of tastes of food last week. First we tried yams. I smashed a bit and gave her a blob on my finger. I think you could sum up her reaction to the whole food thing as “Displeased.” This is a baby who wants everything in her mouth, who opens her mouth wide as you pick her up because she wants to eat you. Yet the barest hint of actual food on my finger and she clamped her mouth shut, wouldn’t open it at all. We sort of waited a while and when she opened it, I scraped it off on her gum shelf and she made a face. After gumming at it thoughtfully for a few seconds, she started to cry. A few days later we tried a bit of avocado and her reaction was more or less the same. Now when she gazes intently at us when we eat like she wants something in her mouth, we remind her of The Lesson of The Avocado and The Yam.

I want to figure out how to wean her from swaddling. Ronin is a lousy sleeper and if she is not tied down, she’ll flail herself into a kicking pissed-off and ultimately awake baby. When we wrap her in a blanket, she’ll generally be okay although she never sleeps for very long. We have tried twice to see what would happen if we didn’t swaddle. The first try we put her to sleep as usual around 7:30 but she awoke angry mere minutes later and it was not until 9:30 when we gave up and wrapped her into a tight bundle that she finally passed out for good. During this time, we alternatively bounced, rocked, patted, soothed, sang, and shushed her nonstop trying to get her to stay asleep for more than (I kid not) five seconds but she’d jerk and flail and start crying hysterically, then she’d finally suck herself to sleep again for another few seconds, then startle awake, cry tragically, etc. over and over. We actually tried it again a few nights later but during one of the midnight feeding sessions when she usually goes right back to sleep as soon as she eats. She went right to sleep and I just laid her on the bed but after about five minutes or so, she started to flail and jerk around. So I held her hands and she calmed and fell back asleep. She did this for the next three hours about every ten minutes or so and I would hold her down basically until she calmed. After I fed her the next time, I swaddled her back up and we both went to sleep. Maybe we’ll try it again in a few weeks. I worry because it’s getting warm at night again and I hate to have her bundled in a blanket.

** I would just like to add that only ONE day after I wrote this, she fell asleep for not one but TWO naps unswaddled and stayed asleep for an admirable period of time and then, THEN, that night broke out of her swaddle around 9pm but stayed asleep until 11pm or so when she woke for a feeding. Miracle. This is not the first time I bitched about something she did that I didn’t know what to do oh wah wah poor me and damned if she didn’t stop the very next day just to prove me wrong. Just goes to show that complaining works.