No Poop Mentioned Here

May 29th, 2008 by: cheyenne

Life is going well these days, if a bit static on the action front. Ronin continues to morph her daily habits just fast enough to keep us totally confused and seems to weigh just a bit more every time I feed her. Honestly, I was shocked she weighed only 15.3 pounds at her 4-month appointment; my lower back and tendon of my left thumb were certain she weighed 16, if not more.

Today, I tentatively announce our very first poop strike. As in, she did not go at all. I feel like I am carrying around a time bomb and it makes me very, very nervous. If that is not bad enough, we are also low on laundry and if she blows out the current pair of pants, we’ll have only the pink kitteny last-resort pair to fall back on; basically, things are tense.

I have read that it is “normal” for breastfed infants to go up to seven days without pooping. In light of the shocking amount our infant manages to concoct on a daily basis, the idea that she could conceivably store it up for seven days is mind-blowing. If things don’t get rocking soon, I shall develop acute agoraphobia and spend my days hovering over the changing pad, a fistful of wipes at the ready. The anxiety, it will be mind-numbing. The sweating, profuse.

Enough poop. New parents always talk about poop.

Joshua and I passed another couple pushing their baby in a stroller the other day and as we exchanged pleasantries, the woman said, “I just love how babies carry their hearts on their sleeves.” And I sort of smiled and nodded and we wandered off but later I thought about it and she’s right. Babies are simply not able to conceal their feelings at all; it’s kind of an amazing thing really. They can be so ecstatically happy about being outside on a walk or being given an exciting new toy (a wooden spoon cool can of Pabst, say) and it is so obvious, and then the next moment they can be tragically sad because, um, some air molecules shifted not to their liking? Hard to say. They are also completely unselfconscious, for instance, one baby I know once loudly and startlingly pooped out a pantsful RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER WITH GUESTS. Complete with grunting and hilarious facial expressions.

Everyone laughed politely.

And, because I’m aware I have somehow gotten back on the subject of poop, I shall segway back into something that is not poop: this awesome youtube video. Seriously, watching this thing is like my hobby these days. I see it’s been viewed over eight million times, but actually 1.3 million of those is just me. Usually around, say, 4:15am… (Monkey!)

4 Comments on “No Poop Mentioned Here”

  1. ilana says:

    Ah, yes… poop…. Alden once went 5 days without a BM. By the end, I was one twitchy bundle of cortisol. I’d almost talked myself into giving him cod liver oil to get things moving when he finally gave way. It was impressive. And I feel your tendon pain -literally – except it’s in my right hand. I’ve had it since the wee lad was one week old. I wonder if it will ever go away.


    P.S. Thanks for the galactogogue website and tips. I’m not sure if Kerstin ever responded to it (I don’t have your email address) but your advice and sympathies were very much appreciated!

  2. cheyenne says:

    UPDATE for all of you out there on pins and needles desperately waiting to find out if she went or not: SHE DID FINALLY POOP. It was only the next day and I’m so glad it wasn’t (gak) FIVE! She swiftly and thoroughly filled about five diapers in a row and was done.

    Oh man the tendon pain. I had it in both wrists at first and then it mostly healed in my right hand. The left has gotten much worse and though I have read that it does go away eventually (when you stop picking up your child? when you die?), it’s hard to imagine a pain-free future.

  3. vida says:

    I remember when we Charlotte was a puppy. Somehow poop managed to dominate all conversation. Guess even more so with a baby. Fun things to look forward to!

  4. Bozo says:

    Photo 1… Ronin surely has her mother’s eyes.

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Cheyenne Weil, Joshua Coxwell